Memories

Probably one of the hardest parts of being a living and functioning human being is dealing with deartache, in its various forms. Having just very recently broken up with a guy I truly loved, I'm finding all the things that make me the feminine young adult that I am are making repairing a brken heart that much harder.
The thing is, it becomes rather intimidating to open up after you feel you've been shattered apart. It was one so effortless to reach for a boy's hand, or to run my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. Then all of that crumbles when forever and always frays down to never again. Right now I feel I am teetering on that ever-so-fine line between filling this pressing need to nurture and show affection (I often think giving affection is the most effective way of being true to myself) and the frantic scrambling urge of self preservation. I'm aching for a warm embrace, while shying furiously away from the light because I'm terrified of getting burned.
Tonight, I am attempting to reconcile holding tight to my precious memories of a boy I desperately should let go of. It is those memories that at first drop your stomach out from under you, then your cheeks warm with a violent blush, followed swiftly by a blunt and forceful ache that swells from deep inside. It's a lever of bittersweet that few things can ever amount to. What does one do with such an ache?
"In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary safe and strong, to heal the wounds of lovers past until a new one comes along." I feel I've at least found that elusive room. I've plastered its wall s with memories, and accepted that they are mine to keep. He is gone, and that hurts. We had our first kiss, and that was joy. Hurt is hurt, and joy is joy. In this room, hurt will not stem from once-lived joy. I will hold tight to these memories, until new ones come along.

Intro to Being a Girl

I have no idea how many people actually read blogs, but here is a little explanation of why I decided to start writing this one.

Being a girl is hard. There are so many influences telling you how to look and how to love, how to act and how to think. Sometimes you look at other girls and wonder why you can't be like them, or sometimes you have moments where you want to hug every girl out there because you had that brief epiphany of how gorgeous each and every girl is.

So this blog is for anyone who loves being a girl, loves someone who is a girl, or just want some honest down to earth reading about how great and difficult it is just to be a part of society.

I do not know who will read this, or who will find it pathetic or helpful or entertaining. I do know that I am a girl who sometimes hates myself, always loves helping others, and I do indeed have a favorite pair of jeans. I am going to write and share in the vain hope that it reaches at least some other girl or guy who loves them to be proud of what makes them who they are. That, and I love to write. :)

I hope you enjoy. Leave comments, be honest, or ignore it all. Either way, I'm a girl, and this is my blog. :)